Lookahead: My question was, why would these teens be seeking external validation?  Answer:  they were probably trying to escape the mode of rehearsing negative internal scripts that originate from words spoken by people in their lives.  Unfortunately (in this frying pan-to-fire scenario) the most dangerous and damaging aspect of social media immersion is that the youth of this nation are now programmed to be in a non-stop state of comparison and self-judgment. The teens described scrolling, scrolling, scrolling and wishing they could look like the social media idols. (Side Note:  in the Anxious Nation video a cell phone was next shown with the teen user scrolling through image after image at a typical browsing pace—it was almost hurting my eyes to keep up/maintain focus).  

Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another? James 4:11,12 (NKJV)

Not speak against one another brothers The [one] speaking against [his] brother or judging the brother of him speaks against the law and judges the law. If however the law you judge you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is One Lawgiver and Judge the [One] being able to save and to destroy. Whoever you who are judging the neighbor? (English excerpted from Bible Hub Interlinear Greek)

Being in a judgmental environment is no fun. We call it dysfunction, sometimes even abuse, when children are in a home environment in which the parents are continually (hyper)judging them and finding them “wanting in the balances.” Along that same line, I watched a video called Anxious Nation this week which really opened my eyes to how dangerous social media is to the youth of this nation. Children automatically immerse themselves in that hyper-judgmental environment when their parents allow them to become addicted to social media. Here’s a synopsis of what some of the interviewees said:

The therapists who were interviewed spoke of a significant increase both in the number of kids with anxiety disorders + level of symptom intensity–because of the information glut and extreme stimulation from social media. Once tweens/teens engage and interact with it, they are constantly subject to evaluation.

Several teens expressed directly or indirectly that they went to the web because they were seeking validation from external sources…one teen spoke about idolizing “the winners” in social media. One admitted that spending a lot of time online is indeed dangerous–in the sense that you can actually set up an environment that’s judgment- and pressure-filled.

My question was, why would these teens be seeking external validation? Answer: they were probably trying to escape the mode of rehearsing negative internal scripts that originate from words spoken by people in their lives. Unfortunately (in this frying pan-to-fire scenario) the most dangerous and damaging aspect of social media immersion is that the youth of this nation are now programmed to be in a non-stop state of comparison and self-judgment.

The teens described scrolling, scrolling, scrolling and wishing they could look like the social media idols. (Side Note: in the Anxious Nation video a cell phone was next shown with the teen user scrolling through image after image at a typical browsing pace—it was almost hurting my eyes to keep up/maintain focus). Teens were driven to either try improving every aspect of themselves (body, character, frequency of mistakes, posture, carriage, deportment, etc.) or…to give up entirely. This mind-assault excursion through the many aspects could be triggered by seeing even the tiniest of video clips. The teens described their online behavior as a full-blown addiction–and a trap. One teen had a Metric App that showed her that she had been on social media for ten hours the previous day; she was both surprised and dismayed. Another teen explained that even one positive validation was enough to keep her hooked. Next a teen bemoaned the fact that he blew through hundreds of positive, legit comments to get to the one negative–a comment that caused him to declare his video “a flop” by his exacting standards. He reasoned that the hundreds were placating and condescending. And the one negative comment was held up as truth. 😦 Finally, a girl summed it all up by saying that she didn’t feel like she had an anxiety disorder. But that her social media environment was anxiety itself, and that it had engulfed her. (Side Note: Like bringing the whale to Jonah 🙂 )¹

My grandmother used to say, “Comparisons are odious.” But without the proper context, they are also insidious, destructive and can exacerbate behavioral or mental health issues. God is the only One Who should be judging our youth–and, He sees them as overflowing with the potential to be totally worthy and deserving of His LOVE (as demonstrated by His ultimate sacrifice that He gave for renewed fellowship with them).

To my point, this video shows the harm that a judgmental environment can do. So do we now want to do a lift/carry–bringing that environment into the church?

He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

The Greek word for “speak evil” is:
katalaleite
καταλαλεῖτε
to speak against
per Motorera, to bad-mouth, defame, speak against, speak evil of, be a traducer, i.e., to slander, to talk loudly, to blab

This katalaleite term “speaks to motive.” Its meanings incorporate speaking with evil intention, but also include opposing someone without evil intention. So I would presume that even if, in a church setting, you’re just transparently expressing the well known fact that you’re out-of-sync with your brother, I think James is still saying uh-uh. Not good if there’s a judgmental component there in the sense that you’re judging him to be in error. And even if you’re talking about what your brother has already publicly repented for, that’s probably not a good thing either. The Patriarch, Joseph, let it go. He could have used his brothers as an example of what not to do in his Wednesday evening Bible Study because it was no secret. But he chose not to speak against the brethren.

(As it was, they couldn’t believe that he had given them a free pass! When their father died years later, they were expecting Joseph’s deferred revenge and judgment. (Genesis 50:15-21) His unbelievable response was– Fear not: for am I in the place of God?)

When a Christian is speaking against a brother, they may not be sinning and disobeying the law by evil speaking. But because both parties, giver and receiver, are operating under God’s grace, different rules apply. The would-be judge is essentially negating the law and judging it to be something they don’t need to follow. Even if we have the best of motives in judging a person or situation, we could still be armchair quarterbacking about what should be/have been done. Also, this mode is the antithesis of “being a doer.” It’s better to take our “I-beg-to-differs” to God, and let Him re-frame them. Then we can give a testimony about “God helping us to overcome the temptation to judge” instead of judging due to differing opinions.

Case in point, I was reminiscing with a friend and volunteering my “opinion” about the reason our former pastor had lost his church/following–a pastor who had played a pivotal role in preparing my heart for salvation many years ago. (In fact, I had always thought that he was the perfect pastor for me, whom God had hand-picked and placed in my path in that season.) My theory was that a religious spirit had infiltrated the church. I blabbed out my opinion before asking the LORD to re-frame things. Later that day, I found his daughter’s blog on the web and realized that she had grown up to be an utterly amazing, Godly young woman. I immediately had the impression that the pastor’s church may have failed, but he had never failed as a father…because he believed that family comes first. I also felt that God was absolutely fine with the pastor’s priority system. I realized that I had made a mis-informed judgment. And I always will. 🙂 Did I feel condemned? No, I felt illuminated by the wisdom of God. But I did repent immediately about judging. Going full cycle, I then asked God to please forgive me. And He always will.

However, what prompted me to go into judgmental mode? I told myself that I was trying to comfort my friend because we both had experienced church hurt at that now defunct church. I thought that knowing about the church’s demise might bring closure if/as necessary. The truth? I was just looking for another chance to judge that pastor one more time, and pick through all his perceived failures thirty years after the fact. 😦 In 2023 I was now outwardly expressing judgment in perhaps a less acerbic, more reserved fashion. But James is saying here that “judgment is judgment.” (Sadly, as a new believer thirty years ago, I probably openly/ energetically participated in the mis-informed judgmentalism (that can kill any church faster than a pastor can snap his fingers)).

How should I have handled the conversation? How about telling my friend: I’m presently writing a blog post about judgmentalism and am afraid I’ll “go there”; I apologize that I brought the subject up, but it might be better to change it. 🙂

(BTW, I think this is a perfect example of one of God’s tests/trials/pruning moves à la James 1:2-4, Posts: Unpacking #2 through 4. And I obviously failed the surprise pop quiz. :-))

Going forward, do I now have to scrutinize every word that comes out of my mouth? Uh-uh — that’s the very definition of letting a religious spirit infiltrate one’s life. Instead of scrutinizing, I can just pray to the LORD to give me more wisdom and to help me speak life. In the meantime, I will have already made some progress as a result of God teaching me how to (basically) recognize the temptation and depend more on Him for strength. And “progress is our most important product.” 🙂 (ref Post Unpacking #27 – No Fear 2)

What is the endgame we should pursue as believers?

Excerpt from my Kingdom Post #26:

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¹My (blood) bro, John